Let me tell you all, this may have been one of the hardest decisions I’ve had to make in my entire life. Funny thing is, I never thought it would be a hard decision. I grew up thinking I knew exactly what I wanted to do.
What am I talking about? The decision of whether or not to go back to work part-time. When I was young, I never expected to LIKE my job! And there’s where the struggle lies, not only do I like my job, but I really enjoy my coworkers. We have such a good time working together (and playing together!), which is so important when you’re working in such a team based environment. I have been so blessed to spend three years working for TBG that it’s hard for me to even think about leaving.
But I am.
When it comes down to it, this isn’t a professional decision for me. I don’t want to miss my son growing up. I don’t think I can handle someone else watching all of his precious little smiles all day long. The milestones. Years that I can’t get back with him. This is such a precious time since they grow up so quickly and life is too short for me to miss it.
The landscape architecture industry will still be there when Jude starts school or whenever I feel the time is right. I may need to do some learning to catch back up to my colleagues, but I’m willing to take the risk. I believe myself to be a quick learner and I love learning new things. Additionally, Jason and I have been blessed in such a way that we are not dependent on my income. Part of the reason we moved is because our new mortgage is less than what some people pay for rent in an apartment in Austin.
So, I am a little frightened to admit that I am becoming a SAHM. Goodness. It will be very difficult for me to tell people that I stay at home when they ask what I do for a living (yeah, that’s my pride – there is a fair amount of my identity tied up in being a landscape architect). There are so many things people associate with SAHMs, both good and bad. . . I am a little nervous to get people’s reactions to my decision since it seems people have strong opinions one way or another. I do plan on starting a little business but I’m still hashing out what that means for me. Most likely it will be related to crafts and not landscape architecture (although I’m not opposed to doing some planting plans here and there to bring in a little extra money).
And work friends, I hope that this isn’t the end of friendships with all of you. I appreciate you all so much more than you know! It has been such a pleasure to get to know you and to work with you. I couldn’t have asked for a better group of people to work along side. I hope to have the opportunity to work with y’all again in the future. I will continue to be around, helping out from time to time, catching lunches and dropping off snacks!
I have been agonizing over this, praying over it and just giving myself gray hairs over what the right thing for our family is. It is nice to finally feel a sense of peace about this decision.
So on we go from here!