Decisions, decisions.

Let me tell you all, this may have been one of the hardest decisions I’ve had to make in my entire life. Funny thing is, I never thought it would be a hard decision. I grew up thinking I knew exactly what I wanted to do.

What am I talking about? The decision of whether or not to go back to work part-time. When I was young, I never expected to LIKE my job! And there’s where the struggle lies, not only do I like my job, but I really enjoy my coworkers. We have such a good time working together (and playing together!), which is so important when you’re working in such a team based environment. I have been so blessed to spend three years working for TBG that it’s hard for me to even think about leaving.

But I am.

When it comes down to it, this isn’t a professional decision for me. I don’t want to miss my son growing up. I don’t think I can handle someone else watching all of his precious little smiles all day long. The milestones. Years that I can’t get back with him. This is such a precious time since they grow up so quickly and life is too short for me to miss it.

The landscape architecture industry will still be there when Jude starts school or whenever I feel the time is right. I may need to do some learning to catch back up to my colleagues, but I’m willing to take the risk. I believe myself to be a quick learner and I love learning new things. Additionally, Jason and I have been blessed in such a way that we are not dependent on my income. Part of the reason we moved is because our new mortgage is less than what some people pay for rent in an apartment in Austin.

So, I am a little frightened to admit that I am becoming a SAHM. Goodness. It will be very difficult for me to tell people that I stay at home when they ask what I do for a living (yeah, that’s my pride – there is a fair amount of my identity tied up in being a landscape architect). There are so many things people associate with SAHMs, both good and bad. . . I am a little nervous to get people’s reactions to my decision since it seems people have strong opinions one way or another. I do plan on starting a little business but I’m still hashing out what that means for me. Most likely it will be related to crafts and not landscape architecture (although I’m not opposed to doing some planting plans here and there to bring in a little extra money).

And work friends, I hope that this isn’t the end of friendships with all of you. I appreciate you all so much more than you know! It has been such a pleasure to get to know you and to work with you. I couldn’t have asked for a better group of people to work along side. I hope to have the opportunity to work with y’all again in the future. I will continue to be around, helping out from time to time, catching lunches and dropping off snacks!

I have been agonizing over this, praying over it and just giving myself gray hairs over what the right thing for our family is. It is nice to finally feel a sense of peace about this decision.

So on we go from here!

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13 Comments

  1. Posted September 2, 2009 at 10:42 am | Permalink | Reply

    That’s great, I’m sure you won’t regret the decision. When I have kids I really hope we will be able to work something out like this for either of us to stay at home. I really repect you for making the sacrifices necessary to do this – I’m sure you’ll really enjoy it too. And you’re totally right that the landscape architecture will still be there in the future but you won’t be able to get those years with Jude back.

    You can always start your business idea off when you have time, it’ll be a fun challenge to start something different as a business – Good Luck with whatever it may be.

  2. Posted September 2, 2009 at 11:22 am | Permalink | Reply

    You have to do what you feel is best for your family, Elizabeth! I stayed home with Eden for 1 1/2 year, and you so many people asked me if I was going to go back to work, when I was going back, what I did all day, if I was going to obsess about things that working moms don’t have time for, etc. It was hard.

    Now that I decided to work part time, I hear so many people look at me apologetically like “I’m sorry you have to work” (I don’t), or if why I am allowing someone else to raise my child, how much I’ll regret my decision later, etc.

    No matter what decision you make, someone will always think it wasn’t the best one, but in your heart, at the end of the day, you make the choice and your are the ones who live with.

    Being a mom is a great job, and you are doing a great job. Work will always be there in some form or another. 🙂

  3. Posted September 2, 2009 at 11:29 am | Permalink | Reply

    Beth – that’s so exciting how the Lord has guided you and Jason in this decision and given you a peace about it. What a blessing to be able to stay home with Jude. I believe you will treasure these times forever. I’m excited to see how the Lord uses you in starting up a little something from home 🙂

  4. Posted September 2, 2009 at 11:35 am | Permalink | Reply

    i kinda teared up reading your post. so sweet. i am so glad God gave you peace and direction. i know He will continue to guide you and jason in this. its such a hard decision and so difficult to know whats best for you and your family. and people can be so judgmental on top of it all! dont know they know we feel guilty about it both ways?! i know you will love staying home and prob miss working with everyone. but i think you will always cherish the time you have with jude that just goes by so fast. i feel like i just woke up to grown up twins and i could cry thinking about it! can’t wait to hear how SAHMing goes! always love reading your sweet blog!

  5. Posted September 2, 2009 at 11:41 am | Permalink | Reply

    I am proud of you for making what I know was a very difficult decision. There will always be negative opinions no matter what we choose, but choosing God’s best for you and your family far out weighs what anyone else thinks or says. I think you will find being a mom who “gets” to stay home just as rewarding as your job — if not more so. You get to pour into a little one and that is a very important role. It is a privilege that you are able to do this and I am so happy for you!!

  6. Posted September 2, 2009 at 12:33 pm | Permalink | Reply

    You’re going to be an awesome SAHM. I’m glad that the stress is over now that you’ve decided. And I can’t wait to see what crafty things you’ll do and the business you’ll start eventually!

  7. Amanda
    Posted September 2, 2009 at 3:23 pm | Permalink | Reply

    I’m so excited for you! In school you said you wanted to be able to stay home when you had a baby. It will be perfect for you all, besides the world of landscape architecture is highly over rated;) I realized recently that I would like to be able to work from home when we decide to have kids, something I never thought I’d want. Its a tough choice, but to me there’s no question that you made the perfect decision for you and your family. Love you sweetie! (and Jason and Jude of course)

  8. Posted September 2, 2009 at 11:02 pm | Permalink | Reply

    I’m very happy for you and that you feel peace about this decision. I don’t have a strong opinion about it…just feel like each family should do what is best for them/their family/their situation. It would be sooo hard though for you to miss those milestones with Jude. Soak in each moment that you can. I wish you the very best!!! 🙂

  9. Elizabeth
    Posted September 3, 2009 at 11:22 am | Permalink | Reply

    Thanks so much for all of the support everyone! I have been deeply encouraged by everyone’s response to my decision!

  10. Lynn
    Posted September 4, 2009 at 2:23 pm | Permalink | Reply

    I’m going to have my first baby soon, and this decision is haunting me. It’s terrible. As far as making the income decision, do you have a lot left over after all of the bills are paid? Not to pry, I just don’t know how much is a comfortable cushion to live on, plus with the economy… it’s hard to know to stay or leave.

    • Elizabeth
      Posted September 5, 2009 at 3:11 am | Permalink | Reply

      I don’t know that we would say we have A LOT left over but we have enough to make ends meet and still save a little. We have a decent savings built up as well. We are lucky that neither of us have any debt or car payments, so that made it easier too. We calculated how much I would be bringing home at the end of the day after paying childcare and taxes and it ended up only being $100 or so a week, which didn’t really feel like it was enough to keep me working.

      I also felt the pressure of the economy; my job had survived several rounds of layoffs and I felt some pressure with that. In the end, just weigh your options, do what’s best for your family and listen to your heart!

  11. Posted September 5, 2009 at 12:10 am | Permalink | Reply

    Stumbled across your blog while researching Sleeping At Last. Before we had Cool Baby, our original plan was that I was going to stay home while Cool Mum continued on her great career. A few months before, God pricked my heart and said, “Give her the chance to be a mother.” I’m so thankful that we did.

    Now that we live in New York City, the pressure (financial and social) for her to work is palpable, but by His grace, we’ll stay this course.

  12. Posted September 7, 2009 at 12:45 am | Permalink | Reply

    Congratulatons for making the hard choice. Looking at it from my stage of life (grandmother) you won’t regret staying home with your little one. There are a lot of benefits that outweigh the money and are priceless in value. I hope you enjoy being a SAHM. God bless you. Mary

One Trackback

  1. By More Changes for the New Decade « think liz. on December 31, 2009 at 9:57 am

    […] lives are on the brink of some large changes once more. It seems that having a baby, moving and my becoming a SAHM isn’t enough change in our lives. To add to the major life change mix, Jason recently quit […]

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