Here we are again. Another month has passed. We are getting closer and closer to the one year birthday and it just seems unreal to me. I have friends that are having babies now and I see how little their newborns are and I really don’t remember Jude being that small. But at the same time I feel like I was pregnant yesterday. Strange.
Hmm. So what’s new? Still no teeth, no crawling and no sitting up. . . He can sit up for a bit but as soon as he sees something he wants he launches in that direction and falls over. Eating solids is going well – he loves apples, sweet potatoes, carrots, bananas, rice cereal, oatmeal and yogurt but hates peas and doesn’t care for pears. It is a lot of fun getting to cook for him and a part of me fantasizes about the day when he will want to help cook. In reality, I’m pretty sure he will just help make a mess in the kitchen . . .
It is becoming increasing clear that he is going to be a passionate, strong willed child. He has no problem raising his voice and letting everyone know what he wants. His mood swings in a matter of seconds and his giggles can turn into screams without notice. We are already engaging in discussion about how we are going to approach disciplining. We both believe that discipline only happens when there is willful, knowing disobedience, but we still have to figure out what happens when that occurs. And I KNOW it’s going to occur! He loves to rough house already – being flung around makes him giggle and he is super ticklish. He is quick to laugh and give people smiles which just warms my heart. He loves to flirt with the ladies too – watch out!
There are still a lot of struggles that seem to come with all the transitions. I miss working in an office. I miss bits and pieces of my old life. A lot of sacrifice has come through this transition. But as a friend of mine from college used to say, ‘nothing easy is worth it and nothing worth it is easy,’ and that seems more true to me now that it ever did then. Parenting is complex and difficult. It’s hard on your body. Your marriage. Your faith. Your other relationships. There are moments when I want to give up. But for every difficulty, it seems there is a payout that is greater than anything I could imagine.
I still can’t get over the fact that I am entrusted with the care of a generally helpless human being. I mean, what? Who qualified me to do this job? But when it comes down to it, it is a great honor to do it. What bigger job exists that one that shapes another person with such magnitude?